A Poem rendering of the walk by ChatGPT

"A Chilterns Stroll"

Take the 9:57 from Marylebone’s grace,

Through rolling green fields at a leisurely pace.

Or the Met from Baker at half past nine,

To Amersham’s platform, right on time.

Step from the train, the city behind,

A ramble ahead through nature's design.

Woodlands whisper, fields stretch wide,

Footsteps echo where seasons collide.

Through Penn Street’s heart, a tempting view—

The Squirrel calls, or Hit or Miss too.

Later, in Little Missenden’s charm,

The Red Lion waits with rustic warm.

Ducks by the pond, a pint in hand,

Stories drift like grains of sand.

And onward still, past hedge and tree,

To Great Missenden’s hospitality.

At xx:03 or xx:33,

A train returns to set you free.

Or Wendover’s way at xx:27,

If legs still long for country heaven.

Day return, a simple fare,

To Great Missenden—if stopping there.

But Wendover’s path, if walking on,

A ticket grants the journey’s song.

So take the walk, the path is true,

The Chilterns waits with skies of blue.

A day well spent in ramblers’ cheer,

With pubs and fields and countryside near.

6 at the start of this walk. We were a bit lacking on the distaff side (ie they were all men - Ed) but mid morning at the church near the Squirrel pub we ran into a woodland nymph who it turned out had caught an earlier train, so thereafter we were slightly more gender-balanced, and 7 in all.

The weather was drizzly . A greater contrast with the bright sunny weather midweek could not be imagined. The mud was…pretty much what mud should be in February, I guess. Not too serious.

We got very strung out, as hares raced ahead. In fact one walker I never saw after the start. Another was lost to view in Little Missenden - last seen heading for the church and muttering about walking to Wendover. Four others of us ate in the Red Lion there - good proper nosh with veg and mash: none of your gastro nonsense. We were joined for drinks by a fifth (he arrived tragically just too late to enjoy some leftover chips).

In the afternoon, we passed where HS2 might have been but isn’t (they extended the tunnel), and descended to Great Missenden church, whose churchyard was awash with snowdrops. It turned out, in fact, to be Snowdrop Saturday, which included the serving of tea and very nice homemade cakes in the church itself, which we ate to a (non-religious) keyboard accompaniment.

It was now 4pm and yours truly would have got stuck straight into the Wendover extension. One walker (apart from the church goer mentioned earlier) did indeed do just this. The other three of us went to the George, where a fourth was already sampling the cider. We were there an hour and a half, various tipples and the rest of the daylight being consumed and some sporting event or other playing on the big screen.

Two then went for the 6.03 train. Two others, one enthusiastically and the other slightly less so, set off to walk to Wendover. It was still drizzly and overcast but there was a rather compelling slate-blue light at first. Then in the woods it was dark, and indeed misty, and torches were needed. Walking in such conditions was strange, but not uninteresting: the torch did not illuminate far ahead before it was blocked by the fog, so we looked mostly at the ground. We got to Wendover at 7.40 and went straight for the 7.57 train, glad to be warm and sitting down at last…

3 Another cloudy day. Mostly mud free.

Lunch at the Squirrel. A cricket match was in progress, this added some excitement whenever a ball flew across the road. Would it hit a car? Would it hit us? Neither, as it goes.

The afternoon passed without incident. Past some posh gaffs, through meadows brimming with buttercups and ox-eyes. Reached Old Amersham by 3.

The other two had shaken me off by then. Looked for them in Seasons. No sign. Guess they headed for the station. Either that or they were hiding.

10 on the walk (with 1 running late doing Amersham to lunch & back). The group split at the sink hole diversion point, with 4 ahead of the main group following the gpx and the rest following the text on the diversion. No sink hole was encountered by the 4, who met the late runner at lunch, with one opting for the Squirrel ( for its £11 lunch with a drink option - not very busy and fast service). The others picnicked in the wood at the edge of the Green. Everyone was briefly together at lunch, but it was too cold for any waiting around. Two more ate at the Squirrel and some joined later for drinks. A fragmented afternoon followed with 2 of us getting a train just after 3pm, some stopping for tea in Old Amersham, not sure about everyone else. Pretty good underfoot with just one awkward stretch on Toby's lane with sitting water to get round.

6 on a almost entirely dry day (until we got back to London).

We approached St Peter & St Paul outside Great Missenden at exactly 11.00 o'clock, so waited (at distance) for the congregation outside the church observing the 2 minutes of silence and then starting a wreath laying ceremony.

On up the downs and along field boundaries, where an oncoming couple forewarned us of a path closure. That came by Rowen Farm/Hyde Farm, which are on top of the line of the HS2 tunneling. There, we enquired a few people and got conflicting reasons for the path closure ("HS2", "something with water"). Only further along the (well signed) diversion a third couple of walkers knew what was going on: a large sinkhole had appeared 3 days ago, which everyone assumes has to do with the tunneling (it's not the first in the area, apparently). The hoardings around the site can be seen from the diversion and the diameter (of the site, not necessarily the hole) looked like 40m!

Onwards then through woods and long fields, then down into the Misbourne Valley to Little Missenden. The service in the church had just finished and the vicar invited us in for coffee or tea, while also highlighting a TV screen with a 2 minute video on the history of the settlement and church and another one about the restoration of the wall murals. He also activated a projection onto the walls of what the full murals would have looked like hundreds of years ago. Impressive stuff, and with all this we never had any tea or coffee, but dutifully tapped the donation machine and shuffled out!

The Squirrel pub was the aim for the (2) pub lunchers, although by now we knew they were fully booked. Before that came Penn Wood though, which was a proper riot of autumnal colours, and tempting as it was to stray off the rather direct SWC route through it and find a longer loop, the pub was calling. A mid-size table in the bar area was vacated just as we walked in, so we endulged the menu (roasts AND the normal menu can be ordered on Sundays), sat between the two roaring fireplaces. The picnickers all joined the table and (as we were still waiting for our meals) ordered deserts and/or coffees. After 80 or 90 minutes it was time to move on though.

Amersham Station was reached in time for 3 to take the 16.48, while the other 3 retired to The Lounge up the High Street (tubes were not running all afternoon, due to a lack of drivers, I presume). All in, a glorious time for this walk, not too much trouble with mud and a heavy dose of luck with the weather (compared to forecast), as all we got in precipitation was a bit of spittle now and then.

Be prepared for large crowds of boisterous Mancunians on these tubes, going to and from the Cup Final at Wembley (kick-off 3pm).

When this combo was last posted Walker noted that you could shorten the morning section by diverting from the route at South Heath to follow a footpath south to just beyond The Hyde where merges with the route of the Great Missenden to Amersham walk. In effect it cuts out the loop through Great Missenden.

After lunch, if you don't fancy the long climb from Little Missenden up to Penn Street you can simply follow the line of the River Misbourne into Amersham - a much shorter, and flatter, route.

7

Just 6 and a dog for this swc classic. A sunny chilly day. Firm underfoot. Scenery good. Snowdrops still out.

A booking had been made for the Hit and Miss so that’s where we went. The meals seemed more Hit than Miss. Mr Tiger astounded everyone by having beer. Jaws dropped. Clocks stopped. But he drank it all down.

2 and the dog sped off ahead. The rest continued later, still at a brisk pace.

Seasons in Old Amersham was packed but they managed to cram us in (as we did the cake). Mmmm the cake. If only all cake was like that, there’d be no need for war.

One more mountain to climb before the station. It was tough - if only we hadn’t had all that cake - but we gave it our best Julie Andrews. The 17:16 was packed but they managed to cram us in.

Just to point out that a travelcard needs to be valid to zone NINE to get to Amersham: a 1-6 travelcard only takes you to Moor Park. TFL 60+ passes are valid as far as Amersham. (That remark will have lost us the youth vote...)

7 of us travelled on the posted train, with 1 who left London thirty minutes earlier joining us in Old Amersham - so that made 8.

We enjoyed a lovely sunny crisp winter 's-day, which was an unexpected bonus for today' s Chilterns walk.

In the morning we encountered lots of slippery mud but fortunately, by the time we reached Toby's Lane late morning, we found this notoriously waterlogged and muddy track completely dry and mud-free. For once walking along its carpet of fallen, colourful leaves was a delight. Leaving the lane, we descended grassy fields to the pretty village of Little Missenden, where its pub, The Red Lion, awaited our custom. All eight of us dined in a room to ourselves, which was a little chilly, but excellent, warming food soon arrived, in generous portions. As it had been St Andrew's Day earlier in the week, on the menu was haggis - and it was very good, too. The Timmy Taylors draught beer was also perfect - and so by the time we left the pub, all eight of us seemed more than satisfied with their luncheon experience.

The short afternoon leg was also enjoyable, with the last of this year's leaf colour still in some trees in the woods, although leaves were now mostly on the carpet floor - softening our tread.

On reaching Great Missenden 1 went straight to the railway station and caught the 16-01 hrs service. 3 of us took tea in Matildas, and our beer monitor went to the micro-brewery around the corner. All 4 of us took the 16-31 hrs service back to Marylebone. That left 3 who opted to continue their walk from Great Missenden to Wendover. They would have finished their walk in the dark - so I hope one of the adventurers posts a supplementary walk report letting us know how they got on.

This turned out to be a lovely early winter's walk in winter sunshine. Top SWC company, too.

The three of us who walked on to Wendover had an atmospheric walk through the darkening woods. Our route took us along the South Bucks Way to Dunsmore, then down on direct paths to the lights of Wendover, which glittered like alien spaceships in the blackness.

Walking in the dark is more interesting than you might imagine. About a third of the way in, the last dregs of the light gave an effect just like moonlight. Jupiter shone towards the south west. Some claimed to be able to see Pluto….

Being an old’un, I needed a bit of faint torchlight after this, but younger eyes (or perhaps those with more carrot in their diet) kept the faith till the end. In Wendover we went to Shoulder of Mutton for a glass or two of hygge, and then caught the 19.25 train, fortified by further “supplies”

Well done Walker for managing to post

Please don't embarrass the SWC, and yourself, in these awkward times by being one of the usual suspects too lazy/entitled to take the instructions. Be prepared to make yourself a pod of one, rather than sponging.

I rewrite my post above / below in case the anon poster is confused by my last post

Well done Walker on managing to post on the new version (3) of the blogger. I had a go for a while but haven't quite cracked it yet

Bridie

Thank you, Walker. Will take instructions.

What browser are you using. Bridie? I found our webmaster's instructions did not work in Safari, but I could do it on Chrome. If you are trying to post and cannot, you could send me the text and I will post it for you. (Go into Blogger, then Settings, then Permissions if you don't have my email: it is listed there)

I must confess, dear reader, that I had a cunning plan in posting a Chilterns walk (apart from wanting to do one myself): namely that it might limit the number of walkers who turned up. In this I was a miserable failure. Some 20 got off the train. But by dispensing with the meet and greet we were able to disperse immediately into groups of less than six, thus keeping within the rules. What follows must therefore be a partial account of the experience of my “bubble”: other sub-groups may care to file their own report.

Surprisingly it was a lovely sunny morning, and the scenery of this old favourite looked as pretty as it has ever done. I was with a “fast set” and they fairly whizzed through Little Missenden. I cast a longing glance at the garden of the Red Lion, which was festooned with empty tables. Left to myself I might have stopped for lunch there. Did anyone else do so?

Instead we carried on up the bridleway, the one which in winter is often flooded. But at present its problem is that it has become very overgrown. It is not yet impassible, but it is a dull green tunnel and if someone does not take a strimmer to it soon it could become a problem.

Passing through the woods, we came to the Squirrel, which was not at all busy: pretty much empty in fact. There was a great deal of palaver at the door and some confusion over procedures, but we were eventually seated in the garden and served at the table with reasonable efficiency. During lunch the skies clouded up and there were some drops of rain, but this never amounted to much. So sunny in the morning and then cloudy .

Despite lingering a bit over lunch, we still got to Old Amersham at 3.20pm. We were able to get tea at Seasons cafe at an outside table. Feeling it was too early to finish, we then repaired to a pub. Here palaver had been elevated to performance art. Temperatures were taken on two different parts of each customer’s body, QR codes were scanned, and detailed instructions were given on how to and from the loo. The only thing the staff seemed to forget about was actually producing drinks, picking up a bottle of wine and bringing it and four glasses to the table seeming to take an age.

Then up through the woods to the station. It felt like we were getting back to London very late. In fact it was only 7.30pm. So purely to support the beleaguered hospitality industry we had a very pleasant Thai meal in a moderately busy restaurant near Marylebone.

The morning rain had just eased as 8 of us alighted from the Chiltern's train at Amersham, to meet up with 1 who had arrived by LT underground. So that is 9 on today's mudfest. The weather was overcast until mid morning then sunny until dusk. There was one sharp shower during our lunch break, whilst most of us were in the pub, but otherwise it was dry all day, with temperatures hovering around 8 degrees C - pleasant for winter's walking.

The morning leg was muddy, with one seriously muddy section between Coleshill and Winchmore Hill. Penn Wood was not too bad as we slalomed around its large puddles, but Toby's Lane was a bit of a challenge. From top to bottom, the Lane was flooded. At the first kissing gate most of us left the Lane to walk along dry(ish) field edges parallel to the Lane, which was fine: others found alternative ways to dodge the puddles.

Fortunately we booked ahead for lunch at the Red Lion in Little Missenden. On arriving at the pub at out booked time we found it more than busy with all tables taken: there were three large groups all dining, and enjoying themselves. No problem - the friendly management had their eye on a table for four for us which, when it soon became available, was extended to accommodate the six of us who chose to dine with them. Good, honest and tasty pub grub soon arrived - no pretentious ponce food here - and with its good selection of draught beers and a cosy interior, this pub is a little gem.

Two of our three sandwichers set off as we dined, with the third joining us for a pint. So we were a group of 7 as we left the pub in pleasant sunshine to tackle the afternoon leg of the walk. Mud levels on the paths and tracks were less taxing than in the morning as we headed for Great Missenden - and tea. Cafe Twit was due to close ten minutes after we arrived, so instead we stopped at Matildas, which served all seven of us with a smile as we enjoyed a good cuppa - and for some of us, some excellent cakes.

The 16-32 hrs service was on time and we were back in town soon after 5 pm.

This is a most enjoyable walk, either way round, and today it was nice to be in the company of nine regular mid-week walkers, with good banter, as we took in some nice views along the route, on a mostly sunny day. So what if it was a bit muddy........ !

Only 2 on a day of early sunshine but turning increasingly cloudy in the afternoon with a slight autumnal chill in the air. I was the only one on the scheduled 9.42 train from Marylebone and trekked along at what I thought was a reasonable pace only to be caught by another before lunch who was on the 10.12 train. I must say the conversation improved considerably at this point, as did the tendency to take a wrong turning. We had a pleasant picnic on the large green outside the Squirrel Pub in Penn Street and stopped for tea at Seasons Café in Amersham Old Town, which judging by the number of people there, would be a good place for SWC to hold shares in. The walk itself is lovely. There was some nice autumn colour and mushrooms everywhere. The route is dotted with good looking pubs and Little Missenden and Penn Wood are delightful. There is also quite an attractive final climb from Amersham old town to the railway station past St. Mary’s church and through the woods. Toby’s lane can be a bit dark and muddy, but not too bad at this time of year. On the 3.54 train back to Marylebone, we decided to look up notable residents of Amersham, Great and Little Missenden, and also Beaconsfield. Great Missenden surprised with not one, but two Prime Ministers, but Beaconsfield seems to be the place to live.

10 of us disregarded the unfavourable weather forecast and set off from Amersham on this walk in steady rain , which stayed with us for most of the day, only relenting for the hour before lunch. No matter - we enjoyed good chat and banter - in English and French - as we made our way along the pleasant, varied route. The rain gingered up the mud in places, but it was always manageable. On arriving in Little Missenden, 5 of us dined at the cosy Red Lion, which served us good pub grub (and one healthy main fish course) promptly and with a smile, and the sandwichers all joined us for a drink after visiting the church, where early snowdrops were coming into flower in the churchyard. We set off after lunch together, to tackle the usual hills and inclines post prandial which cause havoc with ones digestion. By now the rain was falling heavily again, so we did not hang around on the afternoon leg as we headed for Great Miss. 4 went straight to the railway station whilst 6 of us stopped for tea at the cafe in the Roald Dahl centre (formerly known as Cafe Twit) where we dried off over a cuppa and cakes. On then to station and home on the 16-45 hrs train. It might have been wet but I believe we all had a most enjoyable day's walking. For me it was particularly nice to catch up with SWC friends of old after my long absence last year from mid-week walks.

I was going to congratulate you for your “true Blitz spirit”, Marcus, but perhaps the Trenches might be a better bit of history to invoke...

One of the treats of doing walks out of Marylebone is the cafe on the corner across the road from the station entrance. It is the last of the great London greasy spoons. Fabulously fast service - it makes McDonalds look sluggish - and great traditional breakfasts (including vegetarian options). You can be in and out in 20 minutes. Recommended!

Cracking walk.

Going. Thanks for putting this very scenic walk on.

Mud, Mud, and fluid! Perhaps that was the reason why the walk has not been featured for 2.5 years. Despite all these, more than 20 came on the walk, rain held off all day, we even had a brief spell of sunshine. overcast +sunshine. Most stopped at Squirrel for lunch and some sat outside. We arrived at Amersham in good time ~ 4pm, by this time, fast walkers have long vanished. Some had tea/cake at Seasons Cafe Deli - The zuccini pistachio lime curd cake was delicious. We caught 5:09 train back to London.

Hi Guys,

Intend to attend this walk weather sunny and trains running for Chilterns line. Hope to see some of you.

Monica

Hi, I'm new and would like to give this walk a go. Please look out for me. I'll be in a blue jacket and my number is 07981494967.

Thanks, Selina

Sorry guys can't make the walk house emergency. Enjoy the walk.

Monica

Legs 11 today, including one first timer. Once again, the weather was much better than forecasted: mostly sunny and very mild , with no wind and no rain, and considerably warmer than of late; in fact, very pleasant walking conditions.

The mud was as forecasted, though: lots of it all day. Between Colsehill and Winchmore Hill the mud was unrelenting and hard work to get through, but later, in Penn Wood and along Toby's Lane, where I was expecting heavy duty mud and flooded paths, the conditions were not at all bad. We made Little Missenden in good time for our booking at the Red Lion, where six of us enjoyed a good, inexpensive lunch, served with a smile.

There was excitement in the village by the time of our arrival as a rare hawfinch had been spotted near the church, and twitchers with bins and telephoto lenses had descended in their numbers. Our sandwichers, on entering the churchyard to enjoy their picnics, probably disturbed the twitchers, and said hawfinch if it was still there, but the twitchers had a good opportunity to take plenty of pictures of our sandwichers, who gamely posed for them.

Excitement over, it was still sunny as we set out on the short afternoon leg of the walk, which was both pleasant and uneventful. On reaching Great Miss tea was taken by us "twits" in the so-named cafe, whilst two stopped for a tincture at the Cross Keys. Most of us were then on the 16-32 hrs train having enjoyed a good day's walking in the Chilterns, in excellent company.

Toby's lane had only 4 or 5 easily avoided puddles on Sunday. Penn Wood a bit boggier but not impassable. The left hand side (your direction) probably drier. Thin coating of slippy - as opposed to sinky - mud elsewhere on route.

16 on this walk on a day that was cloudier than promised . The forecast said sun would break through and it seemed to be happening late morning. But then grey cloud returned and stayed in place till just before dusk.

But it was relatively mild at least and this made a nice winter walk - varied and interesting. Mud slithery rather than gloopy, though it accrued to boots on some arable fields. Reversing the directions (a prospect which perhaps put off the fairer sex a bit, since the group was rather male-heavy) was not a problem on the whole as enough of us remembered the route. But even the most experienced went off piste occasionally.....

We pushed on to Little (not Great) Missenden for lunch at the Red Lion, getting there at 1pm. Hearty unsophisticated food in a cosy pub. Ducks and chickens and trout to be fed in the garden (the pub even supplied bread).

Tea in a busy Cafe Twit and then following Midweek Walk tradition we rushed for an early (4.32) train to get back to the Smoke in time for the rush hour. Always nice to squash up with the workers on the way home...

It is interesting doing a well-known walk backwards, btw. In this case rather than rushing anxiously through pretty Littie Missenden in the morning on the way to lunch in Penn Street, one could savour it as a lunch destination. The view as one descended into it was very pretty - usually this is behind you and you barely stop to look at it. The big descent to Little Mis in the usual direction became a brisk climb after lunch. In short, it is a great way to see a walk with fresh eyes - but probably best done when you are already familiar with the walk the right way round.

this is already posted for jan 4, just 2 days later...? am i missing a trick?

Thanks for flagging up the similarity Anon

The trick that you missed is the walk is in a different direction so substantially different views and different lunch and tea venues - same leaving time from Marylebone and churches are the main similarities

There is likely to be a larger number of walkers available on the Monday who wouldn’t normally make the Wednesday walk ( a different demographic )

I trust that this explains the difference

can I bring my Champaigne, I could not get out today, Sarah

Only if you bring fizz on BOTH Great Missenden walks this week!

15 on this walk, including a late starter who caught us up at lunch time, plus a couple who appeared to be doing the walk independently. We had a beautiful clear blue sky for most of the walk, with a few clouds appearing towards the end of the afternoon. It was pretty slippery underfoot for most of the route, with frost and black ice on the tarmac sections and a thin layer of treacherous mud over the footpaths and bridleways.

We had a brief stop in Little Missenden to look at the church and to belatedly toast the new year with champagne (courtesy of Sarah, for which many thanks) before carrying on to Penn Street and lunch. Remarkably, the long climb on the bridleway out of Little Missenden, the upper section of which is usually impassable due to long stretches of ankle deep mud, was relatively clear of the stuff and for once presented no real obstacle.

The Squirrel at Penn Street was, it turned out, serving food so half a dozen of us ate there, with a couple more stopping off for a drink. There were no free tables inside, but the bar staff directed us to a cosy roofed and semi-enclosed decked area at the rear of the pub equipped with patio heaters and a wood burning stove and furnished with settees, arm chairs and blankets where we sat quite contentedly.

Three of us stopped at Season's Deli in Amersham Old Town (now a full blown tea shop, the deli counter having been dispensed with sometime ago) for tea and cake before climbing up the other side of the valley to Amersham Station and the 4.15 Chiltern turbo back to Marylebone.

A fine day out.

10 on this walk, Disappointingly cloudy with sun only breaking through at 4.30pm when we were getting on the train home. A pleasant if unspectacular walk in the Chilterns - nice to do it when it is not beset with winter mud.

The Squirrel was having a "family fun day" so the six of us who were pub-lunching went to the nearby Hit and Miss instead. A nice cosy pub with friendly staff, but interestingly some complained the menu was too creative - "No pub classics", "I was hoping for fish and chips".

We got to Amersham rather too early at 3.30pm where some found the cakes too expensive and others thought them delicious. Then the unusual experience for this walk (which is normally done in deepest winter) of doing the walk up the hill to the station in the daylight and seeing the fine view back over Old Amersham. Sunshine and snoozing on the train back to the Smoke.

A plug for the wonderful cafe opposite Marylebone station. Fabulous breakfasts served at lightning speed. Try it next time you do a Chilterns walk!